Attn: Black Women…Fill. Up. Your. Cup.

I’m noticing a trend on social media.

Young “woke” Black Women are going viral. Young Black Women are getting book deals and being featured on magazine covers. Young Black Women are getting paid to by white women to educate white women about race issues. Yet these same young Black Women carry their race based trauma on their bodies.

Ironically, many of the white women who are seeking this racial awakening are dating or married to Black Men while the You g Black Women who are doing the educating….are single and child free.

What does all of this mean?

I have no idea.

All I can say is…All Black Women are well served to fill up our cups…. first.

I see so many Black Women building up others and setting for less than, for themselves.

We black people, remember, America has always seen us, our bodies, our minds our creative force, our hair our skin our very existence, as a commodity. When our ancestors were enslaved they were literally commodities. During southern Jim Crow era and the post slavery period in the north, we were exploited as sharecroppers, union busters and low wage blue collar workers.

Traditionally we have worked three times as hard, in order to get into colleges and get higher levels of education, in order to get resources that the average middle class white person has access to because they fall higher on our skin color based caste system.

African American women (and men) focus on getting all of this education so we can get jobs where we must work at a high level in order to be paid less than our white co workers. With these jobs, we pay more to rent and buy houses and apartments in white neighborhoods for access to safety, better schools for our children, clean water, Green streets, access to real food, and get harassed in those very neighborhoods we pay top dollar to live in.

As we do all of this hard work we get health care where doctors treat us as if we feel no pain….

But wait …y’all know this already, so here’s my point.

As white Americans become more aware and about our collective racial trauma and more guilty about how white dominance is ubiquitous in our country, we, particularly we black women, must be mindful of our self care.

Ever notice how no one says follow Black Men?

Yep, it’s always on the woman to take care to educate to support…..everyone.

But strong women break.

Did you know 137 black women die every day of heart disease?

Did you know the average age of death for a black woman is down to age 60?

I just turned 49.

I see that a majority of the social media influencers who are making money educating “women” white women on racial inequality or are on the forefront of the body positive movements are in their 20’s and early 30’s are over 175 pounds.

Carrying a larger frame for a lifetime facilitates an even shorter lifespan. Add race based stress and the trauma of supporting everyone and that leads to an early death.

I think of all of the big beautiful black women in my personal life and in the public eye who left this planet in their 40’s.

All of the entertainers I loved who were big and beautiful died by the time they were 65 or younger.

Nell Carter- 54 from Gimme a Break

Mabel King – 66 from What’s Happening

Shirley Hemphill- 52 from what’s happening

And several other black women in the public eye who cared for others with their talents and died young not to mention the scores of black women in our own families who died young because they took care of everyone else first.

Yes educate others. Do good. Make that money. And take care of yourselves first. Future generations of black people need you to be alive to pass your wisdom on.

Step away from fad diets and everything out there that tells you you aren’t enough and at the same time that you are too much.

Move your body 30 minutes a day. Eat real food mostly veggies drink water and find love. Love yourself and allow yourself to be loved.

Find doctors of color to support you on elongating your lifespan.

Strengthen your hearts. Yes we all will die one day. But how will we live, today? How will we enjoy the quality of this living body right now?

Healthy Life is not to be lived only for the rich. There ARE resources for black women to care for themselves first.

Here are some of my favorite resources: GirlTrek is the largest women’s health movement that centers black women’s self care. – health coaching, self care and wellness resources that are assessable for spending levels.

Remember. As Audre Lorde said…”Self Care is a revolutionary act.”




About VisAbleblackwoman

Entertainment/Wellness Journalist, Writer, Playwright, Actor, Producer, Vegan Chef Contributor - Black Girl Founder - VisAbleblackwoman Productions
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2 Responses to Attn: Black Women…Fill. Up. Your. Cup.

  1. So true. So sad. I’m a beginner blogger and I truly enjoyed your writing style, and of course the content.

    Liked by 1 person

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