The Holidays are here. Here we go. Family and those who know us best are most likely to know exactly how to push our buttons. Here’s 5 tools to deal with holiday conflict.

1. Take responsibility.

The only person we can change in this life is our own sacred selves. We can be in integrity in how we choose to react to any situation that comes our way. Take responsibility. Be the “adult”. Choose to be peaceful.

2. Focus on interests not beliefs.

When in conversation, focus on what the family member is interested in, pets, hobbies etc. The old rule of stay away from religion and politics is super key this holiday season.

3. Silence is golden

Give yourself permission to be quiet. Listen more than you speak. You may just learn more about your family members.

4. Practice compassion.

We all have that gasbag relative who sucks the air out of the room. That relative who brags about their accomplishments, be the “know it all” of the family who strongly believes in “alternative facts” as their truth. There’s also the person who is always complaining and finally the relative who feels the need to constantly correct people, often times with incorrect information.

Practice radical compassion with all of these relatives. Just let it go. Choose peace. People’s insecurities are usually apparent to the entire group. Thanksgiving isn’t the time to put someone in their place.

5. Let go of seeking to gain approval.

Once I stared expecting letting go of my expectations, and my need to gain approval from people who really don’t understand me or agree with the way I live, I let in peace.

Letting go is really a practice radical self-care. Give yourself permission to say no and disengage peacefully. Take walks and if it gets really bad…go see a movie.

Ashe

J9