visableblackwoman

Yesterday I cooked all my parents Sunday meals made from scratch. It was a labor of love.

It seems at least one girl child in my Mothers family line inherited the cooking gene. Mom got it in her family. It’s origin…. she did not want to be working the fields my Grandfather Sharecropped with her 12 siblings…so she cleverly used her status as eldest girl child to assist my Grandmother in the kitchen. In my family that girl child is me.

My cooking skills have always been a part of my survival. When I first moved to NYC, I worked as a nanny /cook/housekeeper for a wealthy, progressive “family of color” in indentured servitude. The family owned the building and on top of cooking, nannying And light cleaning…I did personal assistant work for low wages while I auditioned.

I did that for two years before booking acting work so I could move out and live with a roommate. From cooking for my actor housemates while on tour to save money to talking my way into a vegan cafe with no experience and becoming management to trying to run my own catering business…cooking was always a burden for me allowing me only enough money to pay for my basics, rent in NYC.

I worked as a cook so I could save money on food. Even working as a Black woman “private chef” in NYC the real expectation of the last liberal “old money” wealthy white woman who hired me as her private chef/health coach in 2010 was for me to also do “light housekeeping” which included her wanting me to hand washing her dirty underwear.

The first thing many strangers say when they learn that I’m a great cook and have cooked professionally is that they want me to come cook for them. I never want to cook for strangers. One of the biggest mistakes I made in my life was working in the restaurant industry as a cook. But the allure of making fast cash without sitting behind a desk, being with people the energy the community of restaurants and cooking sucked me in.

Capitalism transformed my love of cooking into this product that was bought and sold. Put up against others to compete against. I had to work long hours on my feet for low wages to continually feed others and clean…while my spirit was sucked dry.

People I worked with in catering have ended up in rehab, divorced, and some have committed suicide. The underbelly of the restaurant industry is grimy.

When I was cooking for a living, the self taught dark skinned Black woman who cooks well in Amerikkka was instantly viewed as a low cost resource to feed and nurture others.

I walked out of my last cooking job In 2010 without regret. Spending time in France last fall allowed me to fall in love with cooking in a new way. Going to a goat farm then eating the goat cheese from animals I’ve breathed the same air as, spending time with the Female chefs who lovingly prepared our meals, taking time to enjoy the food lovingly as a lifestyle prepared me for today.

Being in this pandemic reality with my parents who need solid nutrition to help process the medications they depend on to slow down the aging process has deepened my wisdom of food as mind body medicine and energetic healing.

For breakfast, I got my favourite organic pancake mix and cooked kale with free range eggs and veggies . For dinner I used the purple bell peppers from my Dad’s garden in the veggie succotash on mixed greens ….I paired with my homemade spaghetti as meat sauce. I learned to make homemade red sauce from an elderly Italian grandma I adopted back in 2005. I would visit her and cook with her.

I made French bread and served with butter. For an appetizer…coconut shrimp on mixed greens with mango salsa and cherry tomatoes. For dessert…blueberry pie with vanilla ice cream. My Mom smiled with tired eyes grateful. She was able to eat most of the food I placed before her. She thanked me for making dinner.

Daddy, after mentioning his gratitude for me coming to VA to take care of them in his prayer to bless the meal simply said, “Jeanine, your food is delicious.”

Cooking is always labor. When we cooks transform our labor into love…we heal.

Ashè

J9

I love Costrastrology’s Instagram posts. Before the pandemic I was like astrology is bullshit. Now I’m not so convinced.

Reading their star signs I’m stunned how they are relatable. I’m a Pisces Aries cusp and I feel all the things exactly the way Costrastrology writes these two star signs.

Astrology allows for imperfection. It’s a place where I can acknowledge my faults my shortcomings without having to fix them. This system of things requires that we all wear masks. In reality…no one is fine. But most of us cannot carry on raising children, being in relationships and taking action without our protective emotional mask.

Those of us who are able to function in the world effectively behind our masks build support networks that enable us to acquire resources and access to places where we can take our masks off, allowing our authentic selves space to be free.

We can take our masks off going to therapy, or going out into nature. We can create more comfortable masks by believing in a religious practice, or partaking in extreme mind altering experiences. And we put on the masks of distraction immersing ourselves in video games , celebrity, sports and the entertainment industry. Still others put on the mask of activism, politics and environmentalism. All these masks help us un-feel.

We need to wear these masks in order to get through the day and stay positive right!?!!

We do right? Cause if we wear a mask we can navigate our way through the matrix on our belief beyond reality. We can live in a positive bubble and if we wear the mask, and keep on confirming pushing our truth away….if we medicate and distract we may have moments of financial abundance moments of true love, moments of happiness for ourselves until a tragedy happens in our lives and the mask is ripped from our faces leaving our flesh exposed raw and ready to heal.

Yep. We are all fine rotting behind our masks until someone we love dies. Or we get sick. We are happy until we lose our jobs and health insurance and we look around and have no friends to help us out.

Yea…I like looking at horoscopes now. I can take off my mask and allow my sensitive self space to be afraid and not okay. I recognise the vulnerability the insecurity, and when I do I see it’s actually healthy to acknowledge the truth and know it will pass without hiding behind a mask.

Yes we need the mask to protect our sensitive skin. And yes. We need safe brave spaces where we can allow our fears to breathe without boundaries.

Thanks Costrastrology For the break. Okay. I’m fine!!!!

Ashe

J9

@costrastrology

It’s April 20th, middle class working class and poor Americans and small businesses haven’t gotten stimulus checks from the government while Shake Shack got a 10 Million Dollar bailout check.

I saw a post by a successful black woman who is a financial expert who encourages people to have 6 months emergency savings. She centers people with good credit and is a corporate advocate urging what we now are calling frontline workers to work overtime in order to pay old debts and basic living expenses.

What about the people who work paycheck to paycheck who are now the people who are actually essential workers? Financial coaches are grounded in individual capitalism myth designed to kill the working class and the poor.

So the goal of individual Americans is to look out for number one, be rich and sidestep the injust system that is killing all of us and be a member of the 1%.

Rich people in America get bailed out and the middle and working classes work to pay for everything until we die in debt. Instead of organizing strikes to change the system and supporting small businesses.. most people conform to the system until something happens that effects them personally.

But guess what, even if you are mindful with your money and grow old with abundance, you could be put into a fancy nursing home, the people who work in that nursing home are not paid a fair living wage, corporations take more money for profit and people STILL face horrible death as we see happening right now.

Everyone works harder more hours for a system designed to kill us in order to attain minimal individual comfort.

This budget coach I spoke about earlier was saying to use the stimulus to pay down debt or save it or invest it.

How can you save a stimulus when you haven’t received it? How can you pay down a debt whet when you have no income? How can you save 6 months rent when their several jobs barely pay basic expenses?

When we do invest in education we have to get loans to pay for college. People if color get paid less money than those other groups while working 150% harder than every other group our health suffers…. and on top of that have to pay back student loan debt at higher levels we pay higher amount for housing and health care…. while other groups get educated for less money due to “legacy” programs, pay lower rent and get paid a higher amount than people of color when working for corporations.

Yet the best advice given by these black financial coaches is work harder and pay off your debt. 🤦🏾‍♀️.

If everyone in the working class and the first responders went on a general strike, and everyone stayed home until student loan debt was relieved…we could create change.

The good news is we CAN create conscious change. We create this system.

Here are three steps we can do right now,to create a new system of being.

1. Search out and support POC and fitness coaches and wellness professionals with smaller followings on Instagram and Patreon.

2. If you are working with a steady income give your stimulus to someone in you community who isn’t working.

3. Work towards changing the system politically on both national and local levels. Go to http://www.votesaveamerica.com and take constant daily action to be the change you want to see in this country.

Let this be an opportunity….to be better. To live better. To care for one another. To develop authentic empathy. Grounded in equity.

Ashe

J9

Who is showing up for you right now?

Who are the people who keep appointments with you? Who are the people who are calling to check up on you? Who are the people supporting your work?

Right now. Focus on the people who are showing up for you…today. Show these folks love and gratitude.

If anyone is not showing up for you in any way shape or form…energetically release.

Send that person love and blessings and let go of any negative graspy feelings you are experiencing.

Because you see my friends…now is a time like never before in our lives where we all are dealing with uncertainty at high levels.

Folks don’t have the bandwidth to listen right now. The weight of the world is just too heavy.

Particularly for those of us who are single, and on our own…we must remember the first love of our lives is ourself.

No matter what love relationship…it will end in tragedy. Someone in the relationship will eventually leave the relationship. The ONLY person you will be with for your entire life…is you.

Find comfort knowing that you have to love and care for yourselves first best and always. As you connect to your inner power, you are able to be a better person for all of the impermanent relationships around you.

Knowing all relationships will end, allows us not to take people for granted. Impermanence allows us to only make appointments we know we can keep so we don’t waste someone else’s time.

When we value anything in this world, we show up. Whether it’s for a virtual class with an instructor we want to support, or a volunteer organization or a loved one. Now more than ever who we show up for means so much to other people.

It really is a balance. Tuning into our own power through meditation, moving our bodies daily and reaching out for help from a mental health professionals when needed are building blocks for a vibrant life no matter what the outside world is throwing at us.

I find it extremely difficult to stay positive about anything without my self-care tools. It’s super easy to infect people with negative energy so my time being alone and showing up for myself allows me to go through the process of healing my mind body and doing what needs to be done energetically in order for me to be positive. And that internal work my friends….is a service to the community.

When we show up for ourselves…we open the pathway to our natural state…joy. While I may not always be a happy person….I am ALWAYS connected to my joy body.

Remember, the number one person who needs to value and show up for you my friends….is you.

Ashe

J9

I see White Dominance reflected in the backgrounds of the homes of people I’m taking classes with on Zoom.

Hardwood floors with beautiful rugs from Indonesia or tibet perfectly placed.  Expensive zafu (meditation cushions) and yoga mats expertly placed for maximum effect on camera.

I see White Dominance reflected in meditation and yoga teachers with perfect home studios easily able to transition to an online practice.

I see White Dominance reflected in the backgrounds of fitness instructors of color working out on small patios, small apartments  as they work to attract the homebound to their home practices since the high end gyms where these trainers spend their hard earned time training the wealthy have closed and laid them off without compensation.

I see  White Dominance reflected the backgrounds of people of color working out in the bedroom space, large enough for one yoga mat, between the closet door and the edge of the bed.

I hear White Dominance in the voices of liberal white women lamenting about the guilt they feel for being safe in their homes not knowing how to help the thousands suffering from COVID 19 in Urban Areas.  So paralyzed by their guilt, some of them have said they can do nothing their home yoga, consult with their spirit guides and crystals  and care for their own families.

The beneficiaries of white dominance are able to work from home, order take out, play video games and binge watch online tv, listen to podcasts, be on the internet, Christ, many are starting podcasts with the time they have to shelter in while being paid their full salaries.

It’s 2020 we are living in a pandemic and again White Dominance protects the majority and uses black and brown bodies as resources to fuel America.

America runs on slave labor.  Our culture thrives for the upper castes while the lower casts work hand to mouth in service to everyone else.

In the past, good liberal white people could ignore the American Caste system by sending money to black and brown people in far away places while not even seeing the black and brown people being exploited daily right in their own neighborhoods.

There’s this illusion that we care about one another in America…do we really?

Please stop being outraged about the American Caste system and do something to disrupt it.

Here are three things you can do to put your money to work in positive ways:

1. Support universal basic income for everyone in   Connect to the non profit organization GiveDirectly.org.  Click the link to get more information about what Universal basic income is, how it works and how you can make a difference.
2. As you are looking for online workouts, support fitness folks of color who aren’t already funded by large “wellness corporations”. Here are a few outstanding fitness professionals I recommend who are out there on Zoom and IG live leading classes because their gyms and clients have let them go during this shelter in place order.On IG: Barre_Bri, Brianna is outstanding Barre burn classes, core, and more
   yogi man_83. Ahmed leads yoga classes that build a strong mind and body
    apaigeofcandace Dr.Candace Harding is a Doctor of physical therapy and a    yoga teacher.  The perfect blend of science and yoga is what we need right now
   skillinaction Michelle Cassandra Johnson is a licensed clinical social worker and a yoga teacher.  Her book Skill in Action is the right guidebook for our times. Her meditation and yoga practice soothes the soul.
       urbanjourneydance My name is Jeanine, and I lead JourneyDance intuitive dance grounded in joy.  We dance to feel it , express it, grapple with it, reveal our hearts and let our bodies go while connecting to our natural state…joy.
3.  Work in your cities on being politically involved.  Educate yourself. Find what you can do and actively do it all the time.  Now that we know Joe Biden is the Democratic nominee… post positive stuff about our nominee on your social media.  Make the shift to make progressive values of having universal healthcare and income  the building block to disrupting white dominance and create a culture grounded in actual equity.

White dominance uses race as a shield to blind us from the reality that we are all one people.  Viruses like COVID 19 are not going away.  Eventually there will be a virus that will get to those who benefit from White Dominance, wealth and privilege will not protect any of us from what Mother Nature holds in store.

Live the change you want to see in this world.

Stop being paralyzed and take action even with the personal challenges you face.  Who knows, if you are able to work towards disrupting this system and giving up a little of the benefits of white dominance, perhaps you will feel less guilty…about your privilege.

Ashe

J9

A yoga teacher I know @leorising posted  this quote on his instagram feed-

“Crisis doesn’t create character. It reveals it.”

It’s true.

Who you show up for, and who show up for you right now are the people who truly matter.

It’s really easy to let the mind go to a space of lack when resources actually begin to diminish.

Most people don’t have the bandwidth to prepare for hard situations so they distract themselves always moving searching for the high.

Do that if it serves you.  Do your workouts, socialize and get those endorphins going.

I wonder how many of us are still medicating with work…even during this pandemic. Now’s the time do that while it lasts. Keep your mind right.

I wonder what it would feel like to slow down.

I mean if you have enough, if you have the privilege of being well taken care of, you have resources…are you able to slow down right now?

In that slow down, can you tune in to empathy rather than tuning it out?

On MSNBC just a minute ago, I saw a nurse in New York City in tears because she just quit her job afraid because there is no protective gear for her to use and she has a family of her own to take care of…she wants to live.

As we go into this week, which the pandemic experts are saying will be like another Pearl Harbor, can you slow down in order to tune in and find a way of being of service?

Those of us who have privilege, (our health is a privilege) can we use this time to develop our ability to be empathetic, not practice being empathetic…but . We are living in a time where we will need to do more than one thing at a time.

Now is the time to practice patience, with family we are sheltered in with.

Now is the time to practice creativity, to find solutions to problems that seem insolvable.

Now is the time to learn to love ourselves unconditionally, we aren’t going out to get our hair done, nails done, putting on make up or having the perfect outfit to be or do we just are.

Now is the time to live. Friends in cities are telling me, they are able to see stars in the night sky…they are hearing owls and nightingales and other animals normally silenced by humans in usual times.  Life is all around us.  Remember this.

Now is the time to give.

Now is the time to show up for ourselves and connect to joy while being there to support others when we can.

Now is the time to ASK FOR HELP when needed and humbly receive.

Now is the time..for gratitude.

“Crisis doesn’t create character.  It reveals it.”

Ashe

J9.

Join me for JourneyDance Embodiment online Mondays ($10) & Wednesdays 8:30am ($5), JourneyDance Chakras Wednesdays at 7:00pm ($10) and Fridays at noon ($5) and a FREE  JourneyDance Listening from the Heart Chakra Share Circle Tuesdays at  3:00pm EST (FREE).

Here’s the link to my online JourneyDance studio:

https://www.coretocoeur.com/app/teacher/809/profile

I was just thinking about people who don’t have a washer and dryer in their homes.

There was a time when I had gotten back together with this guy I lived with. We kept our housing situation separate but were dating. He found a roommate situation in Kingsington, Brooklyn. The apartment building didn’t have laundry but there was a laundry mat across the street.

My fondest memories of our brief time of rocky reconciliation were when we were at the laundry mat together, just folding his clothes. It’s such an intimate gesture…folding another persons clothes. Making sure the fresh from the dryer fabric is folded quickly so wrinkles don’t set in.

The act of perfectly folding his tee shirts reminded me of how my chore as a child was folding my Dad’s white undershirts. As I folded my ex’s shirts and felt deep love for him deep down inside I knew the love I felt for him was not reciprocated. I ignored my knowing.

As was his pattern, he broke up with me in October just like he did the year before, in order not to have to be with me during the holidays and I was broken. I was broken for 5 years after that relationship.

I was afraid of the new normal that was coming of not being coupled up at my age. So much of my life as an artist in New York was connected to not having enough.

Not enough love in relationships. Not enough commitment in friendships. Not enough money to live, or do any of the things that everyone else does to display their happiness or have health insurance.

I lived scared in my not enough being for a long time. I was still experiencing joy and having wonder in my life but my nagging baseline was…not enough.

I’d be able to rally support, book a job that would pay well and make me temporarily normal. A New Yorker, no…a working NYC artist, who could pay her rent, buy food, have a gym membership pay her bills and buy a cute outfit to wear to go to brunch, and out dancing with my fabulous NYC girlfriends.

As I was out being fabulous, there was always that baseline of not enough. That feeling was exhausting.

I’d like to say I had this huge epiphany or found a great healer or therapist or new relationship that made that not enough feeling go away. That feeling that makes me automatically say I’m sorry as a pattern…that drives women who are younger than me crazy.

What happened was, I was forced to surrender and fucking just accept reality. When I lived in NYC, I’d tell myself…okay bad things happen in “three’s” so I’d hold on through the bad experiences and when the good shit happened my ego would be in overdrive. But then…the bad things just kept happening it was like i was cursed. As I dove deep into my not enough self I wasn’t able to be a good friend so I lost good friends.

I felt exhausted and alone and so I went back to my meditation cushion and just worked on clearing my thoughts. As I cleared, spirit told me I needed to clean my thoughts. As I cleaned my thoughts I began to be able to connect to gratitude. When I connected to gratitude…I could do works of service for others. As I did works of service for others…I faced the new reality that I do have enough.

Knowing that you have enough, requires faith, emotional intelligence,humility….and patience. Human nature is to be afraid and to panic. Being calm in the storm takes practice.

We are in the process of entering a new normal. People are acting as if they do not have enough out of fear. There may come a time when there actually may not be enough. Now is the time to prepare yourself.

This morning I was meditating on gratitude. Listing the things in life I’m grateful today. I was distracted by a thought that I have to fold a pile of laundry I did last night. As I shifted to gratitude, the image of doing laundry with my ex popped into my head. Then I thought about all the people in all the cities who do t have laundry in their homes and have to go to the laundry mat to do clothes.

How are they coping right now?

As we navigate our way through this new normal…a daily gratitude meditation practice is the foundation to knowing….there is enough. There is always…enough.

Remember.

Ashe

J9

COVID 19 need to know… terms are being thrown around that you may be confused about in terms of isolating yourself. Here’s the breakdown:

Thank you Shannon Algeo for sharing this info on your social media. Please listen to Shannon’s podcast Soulfeed wherever you listen to your podcasts.